29.04.2010 - 21:25
What is it about love and relationships that seems to make life so difficult? I keep being told that she is toxic for me, that nothing I do is ever going to be good enough, that she's too this or too that, too insecure, too humorless, that she won't put up with anything that you do. I keep being told these things, I'm being told to run, that shes going to destroy you if you let her, that she's never going to reciprocate, she's never going to trust you, that she wants some fictional guy with no past who's not going to screw up ever.
Yet. Here I remain. Steadfast in my emotions, in my feelings. It hurts though, I bought her a wonderful gift and I bought a female friend of mine some trinkets, and instead of anything about the gift, her insecurities kicked in and just burnt everything to the ground.
Is it wrong? Am I going against everything I said I would never put up with? She's never too particularly happy to see me, she is affectionate though, which is a plus. She does give a damn, she really does care. That means a lot to me, most of the women that I've dated haven't really given a damn about how I feel, she does. I feel it growing, I guess I want all of that good stuff and I want it now. I just have to let this grow, to let this mature. This is something different, I guess I just have to give it some time.
